So I have had time lately to realise that life is not perfect! Not that I believed it, but I always thought that things would go my way or that if you wanted something you had to work for it. Reality, Life is a BITCH! There is nothing else to say about it. I have been through a lot over the years. I have been bullied, emotionally abused and over all, treated like a pawn in people’s games – easy to get rid of and no one misses you when you are gone. The whole point in me moving was to get away from all the negativity that was surrounding me and giving me the opportunity to see a different way of life.
I have always been a person that has let people walk over me. I never said no, and just did what people told me because it was easier. I hated confrontation. I still do, but I have realised that I need to stand up for myself more. Which is what I have been doing and I can tell you – life is a lot bloody easier now.
I am happy where I am now. It has opened my eyes to the life that I was once living. The sad, unhappy life that I thought was what I deserved. I believed that what I got was what I deserved and nothing could be different. But moving away has made me realise that I deserve happiness. That I deserve to be treated right. That I am no longer a doormat and I need to be confident.
And that is what is slowly happening. I have started a new life here. I am living with some amazing people who have helped me see a new light, and I have an amazing boyfriend whom I did not expect to me, but am so thankful for.
Yes life is hard. Even harder when you have a past or mental health issues, but you have to make sure you are living the life that you want. Not what other people want you to live. As long as you have people around you who are going to support you and lift you when you are down, then you are doing something right. Never be afraid to take what you want in life, and never let people dictate what you and cannot do.